An Open Letter

I know this will sound so mean but you were the last person I wanted to be friends with when I met you.  You were Little Miss I-have-it-all.  You came from a private school and wore expensive shoes and clothes.  In short, you were the envy of many girls because you’re not just well-off, but you’re also pretty.  But I didn’t envy you.  I just didn’t like you.  I thought that you will not fit into this world I made for myself.  My world was so chaotic while yours was almost perfect. I’d rather be alone than hang out with you because all I’ll probably hear are your boy problems while I deal with a dysfunctional family and how I’m going to survive lunch with only thirty pesos in my pocket. Having enough problems of my own, I didn’t want to bother myself with your trivial issues.

Though it seemed like you had everything, I kind of felt sorry for you because you had a curfew.  Your parents brought and picked you up from school. Even your phone calls were filtered by your mom.  And because your parents (especially your mom) were very protective of you, you had problems with dating boys.  They tried so hard to shoo them away so you can focus on the academics.  I can still remember that one rainy afternoon when your mom literally dragged you out of the campus because of some boy. (Or was it boys?) I can’t remember exactly.  There’s Nathan (yeah, Diether’s cute cousin), then there’s David, James (?), Gab, and then Ross. (I wonder if I missed out on anyone.)  How awful it must’ve felt to be embarrassed in front of the entire school.  But then I thought, your mom probably just wanted the best for you.  So she would do anything and everything in her power to make sure that you get a good education and keep you away from distractions.  Later on, I learned that your mom just wanted to scare the boys and that she was actually very nice.

While you were busy chatting with the cute guys, I was just somewhere reading a Stephen King novel or poring over our school’s collection of Palanca-winning works.  You had your Candy and Seventeen magazines that your mom gladly purchased for you every month while I borrowed the boring reads like Bato Balani from the library.  You read those girly magazines (and not the scientific ones) not because you’re not smart. You are an intelligent girl. You were just very interested in fashion, that’s all.  Meanwhile, I was just being my boring and nerdy self (plus I didn’t want to spend 17% of my stipend on these magazines).  Anyway, I read Bato Balani because that’s where I found out about how one of the research teams copied their work from said magazine. Ha! That team hated me because I told the teacher about it.  As a result, Sir Danny (the Davidoff Cool Water-smelling/good-looking Biology teacher) kept on inviting me to the succeeding research defense sessions.  Now we have something in common. We were both hated.

I don’t exactly recall how and when I started hanging out with you.  All I remember was that despite our clear lifestyle differences, you were never selfish.  In fact, you were ultra-generous. You have always shared what you had with me.  You would let me bring home your magazines or Archie comics or eat whatever your lunch was with me.  We also shared the same sentiments about annoying subjects or people and we both couldn’t wait for high school to end.

Probably because I was a loner/loser/nerd, your mom began to trust me.  She’d let you pick up the phone when I call past 9PM. (Did I tell you that I still know your home number ’til this very day?)  Then we’d spend our weekends in Glorietta.  Remember how McDonald’s didn’t have Coke Floats back then? We invented our own floats. You always ordered a large root beer and sundae while I had a large Coke and a sundae.  Some days, we would just eat McFlurrys and sit in the Activity Center until we grew tired. As we happily dipped our sundae cones on our drinks, we share the events of the week, the shows we saw on TV, and our frustrations. These were the things that we have already talked about all week but we go through it again anyway because it was a fun thing to do.  There were also those times when we would play Dance Dance Revolution all day.  I was struggling with Boom Boom Dollar while you danced to Paranoia like it was nothing.  You were patient enough to teach me until I could follow the rhythm and start racking points.  Do you still remember how I raided your fridge? You told me how you and your family stopped eating ice cream and chocolates because you were watching your weight. Meanwhile, I was so thin so you fed me all the ice cream and chocolates I could eat during Dance Rev breaks. (For some weird reasons, I find this funny and embarrassing.)  Then as we grew hungry from all the dancing, your dad (who you fondly call Papsy or was it Papi?) would order food from Tokyo Tokyo. To high school girls like us, Tokyo Tokyo was some fancy Japanese restaurant with a menu we couldn’t afford with our own money.  Oh, and have I told you that I tried to call my dad, Papi?  He yelled at me and said, “Don’t you dare call me that name again! I’m not a dog!”

Some people probably thought that I am only friends with you because I get free stuff from you.  But that’s not true.  I guess, if you didn’t have all those things, I’d still be friends with you because you have this one quality that none of our other classmates/schoolmates had.  You’re sincere.  Who would want to be friends with someone like me, right?  But you saw me past my cheap clothes and nerdy/ugly looks and really took the time to get to know me.  You probably don’t know how thankful I am that you’re such a good friend during those four lonely years while I was away from my mom and siblings and had to live with dad and his relatives.  In the absence of my own family, you unselfishly shared yours to me.

After high school, I was both happy and sad when I found out that you’re going to UA&P. How I wished I could go there with you! Since we couldn’t afford it, I went to a public university.  And although it felt awesome that we no longer have to put up with all the high school shit, it was also sad and scary to be away from a friend like you.  I was so mad at myself because I misplaced the only picture of us.  It was taken using that Polaroid camera of yours. Yeah, the neoprint kind, the ones that I can stick to my notebook if I wanted to? That photo was taken during that night swimming at CP’s place.  All I had were just memories of those countless weekends, phone calls, us standing beside each other during CAT, and lunch breaks.  We didn’t talk anymore while we were in college until we reconnected via Multiply.  Oh boy, we immediately scheduled a double date, didn’t we?

Today, as we sat in the salon while you have your hair done and I get a manicure and pedicure, I couldn’t help but say a little prayer of thanks.  You are a true blessing to me and I wish you more blessings and happiness because you truly deserve it.  I am so lucky to have known you and to have the chance to be a part of your life and for allowing me to be a part of yours. I pray that we will have more times like this and hopefully our kids will be good friends, too.

I’ll see you again in May.

__________________________________

My friend Joane is an avid iPhone user, enjoys shopping, loves the beach and stars (the shape), and is happily dating a handsome guy named Hans. She is a pre-school teacher and is now based in Singapore. (On Flickr Week 6/52; Project 52)