Kthxbai Fo Realz
Cat Rizal, teh littelz sexeh kitteh

Kthxbai cheezburger,
U srsly yummeh cheezburger,
Mai shiniez I gif u, tho it no can has teh cheez
N even if it had moar of teh cheez
I wud gif u all dat cheez.

OMG FAYT!
N teh kittehs also gif u der shiniez.
Whar kittehs? Dun carez:
Scratchy place, roll-around place,
Dey r all place for gif teh shiniez.

I go bai nao, omg hi2u sun
N omg bai2u dark,
N omg if u need moar colorsz
I gif u red splashies,
U can has it.

Wen I wuz itty bitty kitteh
N again wen I wuz haf biggr kitteh
I c u in sleepytime, cheezburger,
Yummeh cheezburger,
Full of shiniez and kitteh drugz.

Mai shiniez it can has
For teh win! I sez bai to u cheezburger,
For teh win! I sez bai nao for moar cheez
For u n moar cheezburger yummehz
N for mai wunnerful cheez sodat I can has too.

Wun day if u can seez mai kthxbai place
N windses! N flowersz!
Can has kissumz plz? I can has no can see,
But I can has kissumz!
N cheez!

Shiniez plz moon,
Shiniez plz dawn,
Blow plz windses,
I wants teh birdsies! In mai base
Singings teh songses.

Moar hot plz sun,
Rain plz to cum bak to sky?
N kittehs plz to cwy?
N wen timez wifout noise u pray, cheezburger,
Plz ask Ceiling Cat to gif mi cheez.

Plz ask Ceiling Cat for kittehs hu r ded,
N srsly ded, n omgwtf ded,
N for mommeh kittehs hu cwy,
N kittehs wifout mommehs,
N for cheezburger, dat u can has moar cheez.

N wen kthxbai place iz dark,
Wen ded r loneleh buh not rly,
Dun distewb! Ssshhhh kitteh!
If u hears moozeek
Iz jus mi maekin moozeek for u, cheezburger.

N when kthxbai place u forgots,
Even rockz forgots, no remembers,
Scratch wif big claws, maek messiez
So dat mai kittehdust dun go ‘way
N pwns teh burger on youz.

Den dun carez if I iz forgots,
I pwns ur sky! I r in ur base!
I be moozeek
N shiniez, n cheez,
N meni meows of mai feelingz. U no can see?

Mai cheezburger, hu I wants moar dan moar,
U can has ears plz, kthxbai — I go ‘way
From other kittehs, mommeh and daddeh kittehs, sexeh kittehs,
I go whar can has no doorz on fridgsesz, no lids on foodz,
Wer der is cheez. N moar cheez.

Kthxbai, litter kittehs, kittehs for teh win,
LOL kittehs, WTF kittehs,
Kthx, nao I sleepiez,
Kthxbai kitteh i dun kno, kthxbai shineh kitteh,
Kthxbai all my base. I r ded, I has moar cheez.

OMG FAYT!

Translation:

My Last Farewell

Farewell, beloved Country, treasured region of the sun,
Pearl of the sea of the Orient, our lost Eden!
To you eagerly I surrender this sad and gloomy life;
And were it brighter, fresher, more florid,
Even then I’d give it to you, for your sake alone.

In fields of battle, deliriously fighting,
Others give you their lives, without doubt, without regret;
The place matters not: where there’s cypress, laurel or lily,
On a plank or open field, in combat or cruel martyrdom,
It’s all the same if the home or country asks.

I die when I see the sky has unfurled its colors
And at last after a cloak of darkness announces the day;
If you need scarlet to tint your dawn,
Shed my blood, pour it as the moment comes,
And may it be gilded by a reflection of the heaven’s newly-born light.

My dreams, when scarcely an adolescent,
My dreams, when a young man already full of life,
Were to see you one day, jewel of the sea of the Orient,
Dry those eyes of black, that forehead high,
Without frown, without wrinkles, without stains of shame.

My lifelong dream, my deep burning desire,
This soul that will soon depart cries out: Salud!
To your health! Oh how beautiful to fall to give you flight,
To die to give you life, to die under your sky,
And in your enchanted land eternally sleep.

If upon my grave one day you see appear,
Amidst the dense grass, a simple humble flower,
Place it near your lips and my soul you’ll kiss,
And on my brow may I feel, under the cold tomb,
The gentle blow of your tenderness, the warmth of your breath.

Let the moon see me in a soft and tranquil light,
Let the dawn send its fleeting radiance,
Let the wind moan with its low murmur,
And should a bird descend and rest on my cross,
Let it sing its canticle of peace.

Let the burning sun evaporate the rains,
And with my clamor behind, towards the sky may they turn pure;
Let a friend mourn my early demise,
And in the serene afternoons, when someone prays for me,
O Country, pray to God also for my rest!

Pray for all the unfortunate ones who died,
For all who suffered torments unequaled,
For our poor mothers who in their grief and bitterness cry,
For orphans and widows, for prisoners in torture,
And for yourself pray that your final redemption you’ll see.

And when the cemetery is enveloped in dark night,
And there, alone, only those who have gone remain in vigil,
Disturb not their rest, nor the mystery,
And should you hear chords from a zither or psaltery,
It is I, beloved Country, singing to you.

And when my grave, then by all forgotten,
has not a cross nor stone to mark its place,
Let men plow and with a spade scatter it,
And before my ashes return to nothing,
May they be the dust that carpets your fields.

Then nothing matters, cast me in oblivion.
Your atmosphere, your space and valleys I’ll cross.
I will be a vibrant and clear note to your ears,
Aroma, light, colors, murmur, moan, and song,
Constantly repeating the essence of my faith.

My idolized country, sorrow of my sorrows,
Beloved Filipinas, hear my last good-bye.
There I leave you all, my parents, my loves.
I’ll go where there are no slaves, hangmen nor oppressors,
Where faith doesn’t kill, where the one who reigns is God.

Goodbye, dear parents, brother and sisters, fragments of my soul,
Childhood friends in the home now lost,
Give thanks that I rest from this wearisome day;
Goodbye, sweet foreigner, my friend, my joy;
Farewell, loved ones, to die is to rest.

____________________________

Let’s talk about it tomorrow.  For now, just laugh.

PS.  Thanks to Kelly for sharing this.

LOLcat: Srsly, doant cwy sexay kitteh.
Translation: Seriously, don’t cry sexy kitty.

Totally weirded out? I’ll get back to you on this. Kids nowadays have a weird way of talking. Haha. Anyway, I have to rest. I don’t want to nurse a flu. Ciao!